Kentucky, Indiana hurting

Vandy 93, Kentucky 52. Need I write a third BWAHAHAHAHAHA post about Kentucky’s miserable first year under Billy Gillispie? No, probably not. That would be piling on. After all, it’s Tubby Smith’s fault anyway. Thanks to a thorough investigation by Tophery, a poster on Mudlizard’s Virtual Swamp , we now have actual evidence that Tubby is the mastermind behind this plot to derail Big Blue basketball:

Thanks for the laugh, Tophery.

In other news, Kelvin Sampson has Indiana in NCAA trouble again. Already. After three decades of a clean program under a known asshole but fair player in bob Knight, Sampson has gotten Indiana in trouble twice in two years, and apparently these violations may be big. Brace yourselves and hope the allegations don’t stick, Hoosier fans.

Sampson is just a sleazy guy. I have a soft spot for Oklahoma so I gave Sampson the benefit of the doubt while he was there, but come on . . . the track record is out there for everyone to see. Will IU take a hard line with Sampson like they did with Knight? I doubt it. They brought this trouble to town, so I don’t feel sorry for them.

BruceBall vs. LSU preview: special Brady firing edition

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! John Brady has been fired by LSU today according to this link. This absolutely could not have happened to a bigger jackass. Brady will still coach tomorrow’s game, it seems, so we need to send him off properly.

A quick timeout to say WordPress has officially pissed me off. I wrote a whole preview– a funny one– and then WordPress booted me out with no saved drafts except the first lines above. I’m not going to try to recreate the whole thing because I’m so pissed I can’t see straight. So my apologies for this abridged version of what may have been my best preview to date. Thanks, WordPress, you total jackass.

Who they got? A lousy coach in Ole Chipmunk Cheeks and a prolific but inefficient scorer in JC transfer Marcus Thornton (19.8 PPG, 108.3 O-rating, 36% from 3). The one real veteran on the team is point guard Garrett Temple, an athletic 6′5″ junior. He doesn’t shoot much and is not a very efficient player (99.1), and will turn the ball over a lot. Post players Quintin Thornton (6′8″ JC transfer, 122.2 O-rating, just 4.8% of team’s shots), Anthony Randolph (6′11″, 95.3 O-rating, top 500 rebounder), and Chris Johnson (6′11″, 106.9 O-rating, just returned from an injured hand two games ago) are all good shotblockers, and so is Temple. Starting wing Terry Martin shoots a lot but is really inefficient (90.5). Guards Alex Farrer and Bo Spencer will likely not play much.

What are they good at? Coach Brady is awfully good at being a complete douchebag. LSU is good at blocking shots (25th) and shooting free throws (25th in percentage), and is decent at defensive eFG (100th). That’s it. Seriously.

Where LSU is weak. Brady’s face, brain, coaching, and mother are weak. So is the LSU team in most areas. They’re bad on offense (158th) and defense (139th). They don’t shoot well (228th in eFG%), they turn the ball over (128th), their opponents don’t (249th), they don’t rebound well (244th in O and 276th on D) despite a height advantage (2nd nationally in AMWH), they don’t pass well (196th in A/FGM), they can’t shoot threes (32.2%) , no LSU player ranks in the top 500 in O-rating, eFG%, assists, or steals . . . need I say more? This has just been a bad team.

Gameplan: Embarrass Brady. Tennessee is better and deeper at every position (the Tigers are 280th in bench minutes), and LSU has just two factors on their side: Baton Rouge and height. Their height has helped them block shots, but apparently has not helped in most other ways. Tennessee should attack the basket early and often, but look for kickouts. LSU’s perimeter defense might be pretty loose and get Lofton and JaJuan some good looks. Tennessee just needs to play its game and not let the Red Stick crowd bother it.

How it will play out: LSU fans have to hope that 1) Tennessee doesn’t show up, and 2) the Tigers rally around Brady. I don’t see 1) happening since UT has lost 2 of 3 to LSU and should be especially motivated to beat Brady in Baton Rouge. I don’t see 2) happening because surely the LSU players can’t like that asshat of a coach.

My hope is to see Tennessee run them out of the gym by 40 or 50, but there’s no way I could predict such a thing. It’s a road SEC game after all, and those are rarely easy. This should be a W though, and if the Vols struggle they can only blame themselves. My prediction: pain. And an 82-63 Vol victory.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA, part 2

Kentucky lost a squeaker to Houston last night, 83-69. The final margin was pretty indicative of the game– a game in which Kentucky was never competitive beyond the 10:00 mark of the first half. That makes four losses in a row for the Wildcats, and back-to-back losses to Conference USA teams. It’s not that often that we get to laugh so hard at our enemies to the north, so I will relish every opportunity and just hope we do not return the favor anytime soon. Kentucky is now 4-5, including losses to Gardner-Webb, UAB, and now Houston.

If the Wildcats’ internet presence is indicative of the way their fanbase feels, they don’t fault Billy Gillispie for these losses at all. They fault the players, and especially they fault Tubby Smith. They say he left the program with no talent, and didn’t coach the players that he did recruit. Let’s see.

• Last year’s UK team went 21-11 and earned an NCAA tournament berth.
• From that team, UK only lost Randolph Morris, Bobby Perry, Sheray Thomas, and Lucasz Obrzut.
• To replace those guys, Kentucky signed Patrick Patterson (*****), Alex Legion (****), and A.J. Stewart (***).

I’d take that trade. Morris was only so-so at UK and was a cancer. Perry was a decent player and the other two were warm bodies. Patrick Patterson is a major upgrade over Morris and the Wildcats had plenty of returning wings to replace Perry’s 8.4 PPG.

Yet somehow the ‘Cats are 4-5 and look as bad as their record would indicate, and Gillispie gets none of the blame? Tubby had these guys at 21-11, the talent was arguably upgraded, and they are getting blown out by C-USA teams? Hm. I’ll say no more and you can draw your own conclusions.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

I will try to be objective when I break out stats and do team evaluations and previews in this blog, but the fact remains that it is a Big Orange blog. As such, let’s all take a timeout to laugh at our friends to the north, the Kentucky Wildcats, who lost to were beaten down by Gardner-Webb last night, 84-68. I don’t normally wish misery upon a whole group of people, but if you’re at all familiar with Kentucky basketball and particularly its fans’ online presence, well . . . sometimes people just get what’s coming to them.

As for what this means about Kentucky’s team and their place in the SEC, I don’t think that will be settled for awhile. They’ve got some young contributors and a new coach, so some bumps in the road are to be expected. Okay, maybe not bumps this significant, but bumps nonetheless. Playing in Rupp is no joke and I don’t think any SEC team should assume Kentucky will roll over based on this early season debacle.